I got to nap today.

I got to nap today, and it was freaking awesome. Not a 10 minute cat nap, either. But a real one hour nap. Not only that, I got to sleep in until like, eight thirty!! And when I got up, Dan was feeding Joaquin, he had changed his diaper and there was coffee ready. Perfect.

After that, Joaquin and I went to my mom's for a super late breakfast. A bunch of family showed up and we celebrated a few birthdays with cake and mimosas. It was absolutely lovely. Joaquin is getting old enough to actually play with his cousins. He follows his older cousin, Amor, like a little puppy dog and it's stinkin' adorable.



Yesterday morning, we went down to Lake Murray for a walk. It was such a perfect picture taking day with some nice cloud cover to keep away the harsh shadows. The photo below should take you to the flickr stream if you're interested.



I've been trying to cram in as much as I can on the weekends now, but trying to relax and enjoy them at the same time. I would have to say, that this weekend was a success.

I hope he knows I care.

I have a student on my caseload that I've been really struggling with lately. He is a really cool kid, but very different than most boys at our school. He's a total punk rocker, complete with green Mohawk. So not the typical hip hop jock that are our norm. He's super quiet, respectful to me, but does a whole lot of nothing. Then he disappeared for almost a week. When I called home to see if he was OK, Dad was confused. He's been at school all week he tells me. Um, no he hasn't actually. Turns out our boy was leaving home every morning and "going" to school. Only he wasn't making it here. Dad was pissed, rightfully so. But I didn't make a huge deal out of it with Dad because he came across as very straight laced and had the whole machismo thing going. I got the hint that he would be plenty hard on him without my egging him on.

The next day, when he came to school, I made a deal with our boy. If he did what he had to do here at school, I was going to hook him up with a friend of mine that owns a skateboarding company. We talked about possibly getting him a tour, a goodie bag or maybe even a chance to meet a pro skater. Either way, this kid was stoked, he wasn't quite believing me, but stoked. He signed his contract promising he was going to do his best and I signed it promising he had a pretty cool goal to work towards. I felt like I was finally getting somewhere with him. I found his motivation, his soft spot. He smiled, he talked to me and actually started to open up.

We then had Spring Break and I saw him yesterday after our week off. He didn't forget our deal and was actually putting forth some effort first period. He told me that he was staying with his older brother because he was still fighting with his dad about his disappearing act.

Then I saw him this morning. He didn't look at me. He had the hood of his sweatshirt low over his face. He put his head down. He ignored the teacher. He refused to do anything.

I asked him to step outside. When I met him out there, there were tears in his eyes.

What happened? Nothing. Are you OK? Silence. What happened? Nothing. Are you mad? Yes. Why? Shakes head. Did something happen in class? No. At home? Yes. With your brother? No. Your dad? Yes.

It was like twenty questions, only not nearly as fun.

Did you get in a fight? Yes. Did he take something away from you? No. Yes. No. I don't know.

I looked at him, studied his face trying to find a clue. Then I noticed the hood. Why did he have the hood?

Did he make you cut your hair? Yes. He shaved it off.

What? Why? Because it was the only thing I liked about myself.

My heart broke. I wanted to scoop him up and help him, fix him. But there wasn't anything I could do.

I understand consequences and I wish I dealt with more parents that actually provided consequences and discipline for their children. But this was too much. That green Mohawk was him. And he just took it away.

I talked with him. I tried to comfort him, tell him that his hair will grow back. That it wasn't the only thing that made him who he was. He is still him, still punk rock, still the same cool kid. I know I was just some stupid adult to him. But I hope something stuck. I hope he knows that I care. I hope he knows that I am trying to understand, that I won't write him off.

Most of all, I hope tonight, he is OK.

The countdown begins...12 weeks.

Things have been so crazy lately, I'm really hoping that life can return to some kind of normalcy. Normal now is, and will continue to be, very different than our previous normal, but I just want to get back into a groove. Ever since Dan lost his job, each week has been a new adventure. I loved my time off this last week, but I'm actually looking forward to the rest of this week since that means getting back into a routine. Obviously, I'm not looking forward to all the time away from Joaquin, but I think Dan needs this time too to get back into his Daddy groove. This new routine will stick around for 12 weeks and then I'm off for the summer! Well, as long as I don't have to work summer school...my fingers are crossed.

Remember my ILP Goals for 2008? Well, we've just accomplished number two!! Yep, we got my D-SLR and I adore it!!! I was a crazy picture taking lady this weekend and here are some of my faves. If you click on any of them, it should take you back to flickr where there are a bunch more. It feels so good to be creative again!













There are so many beginnings of blog entries swimming in my mind right now, I'm having a hard time finding any focus. So, sorry if this entry is a bit of a mish mash. But I cross my heart and hope to die that I will have some semi-decent blog entries in the somewhat near future.

I swear I'm not dead...

Just on spring break. It's hard to get on the computer these days. Joaquin sees me pull out the keyboard and he MUST get on my lap to type with me. So, it's nearly impossible to blog in any way with him home and awake.
Joaquin is healthy again, my sister is married and I'm enjoying my week off. More to come soon when I have more than a quick moment.

I think we're on the mend.

Oh jeez. This has been an interesting week. As you all know Joaquin has been sick since last Wednesday night. Today, we are finally getting back to normalcy. I was totally spoiled in that I haven't had to deal with any real sick baby-ness until now. I really had no idea how exhausting it is!!

Turns out the little man had an ear infection. I took him to the chiropractor on Monday and immediately after he was all happy and almost back to his old self. But then he kept waking up that night and was super restless. Neither of us got any sleep. Tuesday he slept all day and was totally out of it. We followed up with the Chiro and the ear was a bit better, but he was just acting soooo weird with only a 100.4 fever. If it had been 104 and he was acting this way, I wouldn't have been so worried. But for him to just stare into space with only a 100?? I finally gave in and gave him the antibiotics and luckily,my great friend Iris gave me some probiotics she had on hand. Last night we all actually slept. Can you believe it?!?! So, Veganmomma, don't worry, you're not the only one who turns to the dark side!!

Today he is running all over the place and pretty much backto his old self. Me on the other hand...not so much. My throat is hurting and I have a headache, so I think I'm next on the sick list. One problem though. My sister is getting married on Saturday so I CANNOT be sick. I'm downing echinacea and emergen-c like it's going out of style. And if I do get sick, I'm going to have to find some good drugs to mask this sucker. I would really like to enjoy my only sister's wedding. After it, whatever, my body can get as sick as it wants, I'm off next week with no real plans. I just need to make it through the wedding!!! Any suggestions for the good stuff?

Life with a sick baby....

is so not fun.
I don't have time to elaborate...but trust me...it's not fun.

Just had to share these...

Today, we managed to get a little smile out of him...



...but then this quickly followed.



He is not a happy camper.

Our first fever.

Go figure. The first week I'm supposed to go back full-time, Joaquin ends up with his first fever at 15 months.

Yesterday afternoon we went to the park for a late playgroup. While there, I noticed he seemed a little off, plus he's been cranky all week. We got home, gave him his bath and put him to bed. He woke up an hour later burning up! He's had a 102 fever since then. I called in sick today, and he's been nursing, cuddling and attached to me like a little monkey all day. I've managed to get a few smiles out of him, but for the most part, he's miserable!

We'll see how tomorrow goes. I might go in for just a bit. I just checked my work email and there was all kinds of drama today while I was out. But if he's still feeling this way, they will just have to deal.

My little man comes first.

Lived to see Tuesday afternoon.

It is now Tuesday afternoon and I have survived. So has Dan and Joaquin. The world didn't crumble at my feet nor did it melt away into the sky. We'll see how I feel by Thursday afternoon...that should be interesting.

The past two days here at work have been pretty busy, so I haven't had much time to mope around. Dan pretty much has things covered at home. He's gone grocery shopping, taken Joaquin to the zoo, washed diapers...you name it, he's done it. Yesterday when I got home, Joaquin was so excited to see me he shrieked and screamed in glee, it was so awesome to give him the longest and biggest hug ever. He has been pretty fussy in the evenings though, and I don't know if it's because of the adjustment to the new schedule or if something else is going on with him. That's kind of bumming me out.

I felt like a total ass yesterday though. Seriously, Dan has been doing sooo much around here. He's totally taking this new "job" seriously and I just farted on his parade yesterday. I've just been feeling kind of resentful and nit picky about things. I don't know why, he's doing an awesome job! But still, I guess just because all of this is so new and so many changes, I still feel just kind of mad. I don't want to feel that way, but sometimes I just do. So, yesterday I had some not so nice things to say and then I saw the effect of my words in his face and demeanor. I was such an asshole. After a bit I realized my mistake and apologized and gave myself a bit of a reality check. I also explained to him that I am having some negative feelings, and I need help dealing with them.

It's all an adjustment and I'm sure we'll get through it just fine...I hope.

Well, I'm off of work and am off to go meet Dan and Joaquin at the park...a perfect way to spend an afternoon!

Feeling a bit down.

As I'm getting ready for my week tonight, I can't help but feel a little sad.

Dan and I were talking earlier about how Joaquin's language seems to be just blowing up and how surprised I am by all of his new words. I mentioned that he seems to get new words every day, and then I realized that I am going to miss some of them. Right when I said that, the tears started flowing down my face. I know this is just for a short period of time, especially in the grand scheme of things. But it still kind of sucks.

Later, Dan sneaked in a hug and told me how excited he is to be able to see all of the things that he was missing. His days were stupid long, especially compared to mine, so he did miss a lot. I'm trying to be happy for him and remember that when I get home, Joaquin will just be waking up from his nap and we'll still have plenty of day together.

We'll see how tomorrow goes.