Baking with Joaquin

I'm ditching work tomorrow to enjoy Halloween with Joaquin. I love Halloween and one of my playgroups is having a Halloween get together. I figured it was more important to make memories with my child than to deal with the insanity that will be tomorrow. So, in preparation for tomorrow, I decided to bake cookies with Joaquin tonight. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but seriously, I almost ran out of my house screaming...instead I had three glasses of wine.

Joaquin is very much the explorer and like any toddler he loves all the stuff that he sees us use. I'm trying really hard to honor his need to explore and experiment with real life stuff, but holy jeez.

By the middle of our evening the kitchen floor had a solid coat of flour and sugar. Dishes, utensils, pots and pans scattered the entire floor, table and each counter while two cabinets had been emptied and the coffee maker was nearly completely disassembled.

We finally both had a bit of a melt down and we both ended up in a "time out". But somehow after a little cuddling and nursing we managed get it together and get back to business. He helped me clean the kitchen and even helped me sweep. We also picked up all his toys in the living room and he begged me to take out the vacuum. He then vacuumed. Not well, but it was still pretty awesome.

Miraculously the evening ended with a heaping plate of cookies, a semi-clean house and both of us in smiles. It's pretty cool how much he can actually help, as long as I open myself up enough to accept the little toddler ways of helping. I'm not sure how soon I'll venture into another adventure like this...but I have to say, even after all the insanity, it was kind of fun. Maybe next time I'll even manage to take a few pictures.

The Gnome

I was going to wait until after Halloween to unveil my Gnome, but realized the pictures are already in my flickr photo stream which you can obviously see on the right of this page. So here he is...my little gnome. More pics to come soon!!!


He's not mad, he's just in awe of the very "happy" lady trying to get all the kids in a parade.


Here I think he's just thinking she's crazy.


And now we have a grin. The boots finish this outfit off but the little man just wouldn't allow both beard and boots on his body at the same time. Hopefully I'll be able to get a shot of the whole ensemble come Friday.

New lens

I got a new lens the other day. Not really a purchase I should have made, but I needed something to make me happy. It did the trick. Only problem is it doesn't auto focus on my camera, so I've been practicing a lot and loving every minute of it. Some are obviously sharper than others, but practice makes perfect!

The Baby?

The other morning as I was getting ready to head to work, I was emailing a colleague to set up a morning meeting. In the email I told her I would "be there soon, as long as the baby didn't wake up". The baby? What baby?

I continue to refer to Joaquin as "The Baby". The problem is, he isn't a baby anymore. When I call him "the baby" I'm sure people are expecting to see an actual baby, not a walking talking toddler.

So what do I call him now? The kid? The toddler? My son?

None of them quite have that ring of "The baby", plus he's still my baby!

The Nightly Show

Every night, between bath and bedtime, Joaquin puts on his Nightly Show. He dances, poses and plays "music" for us. Here is a shot from last night's performance...




We've also been practicing the potty more often lately. I'll just let him hang out naked and wait. For a while he would start to pee, catch him self and then run to the bathroom. Now I'm noticing that he's holding it. The other day he had been naked for a couple of hours and I realized he hadn't peed, so I asked him if he needed to. Sure enough he ran to the bathroom, I helped him up and he peed...a lot. He did the same yesterday, as you can tell, he was rather excited about it!



If you're "friend" or "family" you can see the cuter uncropped photo on flickr.

I tried to resign.

I finally met with one of my Administrators on Thursday and told her just how done I was. I decided I need to give something up. If I was going to continue as department chair, I had to get out of the classroom and back into the position I was in last year. If that wasn't a possibility then I had to give up department chair. Honestly, I would rather just give up the chair position. I like teaching, as tough as these kids are, it's more fun to teach then deal with a bunch of administrative crapola. She asked me to stick around until the second week of October. I'm not really sure how it's going to pan out, but I really hope she isn't just trying to buy time in hopes that I'll "calm down" and just deal. I'm done dealing.

Joaquin has been doing much better at night. We're down to one night nursing session and I think we'll start trying to get rid of that one in the next few days.

I'm so happy it's Friday. Hmm, at least with all this work crap, the weeks go by fast.

Things that make me happy?

Work is so tough and overwhelming right now, I really need to start to focus on the good around me or I'm headed for a downward spiral.

Not only have I taken on the responsibility of a department chair, the department chair job now has more responsibilities due to some serious cuts from the top. That in itself would be enough to cause some work stress, but I am also back in the classroom this year. The decision to do the department chair job was totally my choice, as was the choice to go back into the classroom. They are both choices I completely regret.

I have one class with over 20 students, the other nearing 20. Twenty Special Education Non-Diploma Bound students. These students have some very intense educational, behavioral and emotional needs and there are way too many in these classrooms, so essentially me and the other Non-Diploma Bound teacher are just babysitting. I've been cussed out in both English and Spanish, dealt with near fights and have had to stand very tall and strong in the face of attempted intimidation. Keeping them on task for even half the period is a small miracle. Don't get me wrong, I love to teach, I just wish I could do more of it.

What's crazy, is that my classes aren't even the main culprits of my stress. The majority is coming from dealing with my colleagues and administration. It just amazes me how hard people will work to do as little as possible and how difficult it is to get people to really support you. It really makes me think long and hard in regards to Joaquin's education and whether or not we will do traditional public education. But that's a different story. I wish I could elaborate more on this topic, but alas, I must keep my mouth shut and my fingers bound. I've said enough as it is.

So back to my original thought. I need to find things that make me happy, happy on a daily basis. I'm so beat, I seriously have to think about it. What makes me happy right now? What little things can I do every day that will simply make me smile and push the seven hours of crap out of my mind?

I'm not sure right now, but hopefully I'll be able to come back soon and tell you.