The Christmas Tree

With the encouragement of my mom, we decided to get a Christmas Tree this year. Honestly, we have never had one that is over one and half feet tall in this house, but we figured we couldn't deprive our child of the joys of a real honest to goodness Christmas Tree any longer .

I was actually hesitant because I know my child. If you have ever met him, I think you would think twice before putting a tree filled with electrical wires and glass in front of him too. To make it as safe as possible we only have unbreakable ornaments all hanging from ribbon. I know my child would love to chew on those little metal hooks, he really would.

The first thing Joaquin did when we started decorating it, was put one of those lights right in his mouth, to you know, taste it. Luckily they weren't plugged in yet, and I tried to explain as well as I could that that was just plain dumb. "No, Joaquin, we don't put lights in our mouth because we don't like to die. Please put it back...how about a cracker instead?" Yep, that is when I knew I was in for a real treat.



Each morning since the tree went up, Joaquin wakes up begging for "The Christmas Tree Lights" and as soon as they're plugged in he cheers an "All Riiiight!" It's wonderfully cute. But, each day since the tree went up, I have had to redecorate it.

One day, Joaquin decided that the ornaments looked better hanging from the knobs all around the house. Another day he "cooked" them all in a big kitchen pot. While another time, he thought they looked fabulous spread carefully all over the floor of the entire house. I don't know how he managed to get so many off so quickly. Every day. But he did. He pulled the lights off, he pulled the beaded garland off. Every day.



Finally the Gods of The Natural Consequences heard my calls. I had gotten home to an empty house to see all the ornanments and half of the lights sprawled across my living room. I spent the next half hour redecorating while wondering if Christmas Eve was too early to take the tree down.

Soon Dan and Joaquin came home and Joaquin went straight for the tree squealing his version of "Christmas Tree lights, Christmas Tree LIGHTS!!" I was standing in the middle of the living room facing away from Joaquin and the tree talking to Dan when I heard a crash behind me. I turned to see a Christmas Tree on the floor and no child. I screamed "OH MY GAWD!" and hurled the tree up. Of course Joaquin was wailing, rightfully so...I mean a 6 foot tree just fell on his 3 foot body! But he was fine. Really.

That is when I lectured, "This is what I've been trying to explain to you over and over and over... we don't pull on the tree, or touch it, ever ever again. It will fall on you and kill you." He nodded in understanding.

He will now point to the tree, admire the lights and inspect the ornaments but all at a safe distance. My relationship with the tree and all those damn ornaments has never been better.