Validation for 100 dollars, please. (three of three)

Part three of three...

Lately, I have noticed that Joaquin sticks his little tongue out a lot and wondered if it had anything to do with the tongue-tie. After doing a little bit of research I found that tongue thrust could definitely be caused by it and that it could also cause a number of other issues including speech problems. It was in the back of my mind for a while so I finally got a reference to a Pediatric Ear, Nose & Throat Dr that is well known for his work with tongue-tie. He was also out of my insurance medical group so I had to pay out of pocket. But at this point I didn’t care; I wanted some real answers.

I drove up to Encinitas to his office early Friday morning. He was very nice, listened and spent a whole half an hour with us. He took a look in Joaquin’s mouth and said that he has what is called Category One Ankyloglossia, which is tongue-tie with the heart shaped tongue. When he found out we were still nursing he was shocked. He said he had never met a mother who endured breastfeeding with this type of tongue-tie without getting it clipped. He asked me if we dealt with the bleeding, the pain, the crying while nursing? Yes, I did. He told me he was impressed by me and my dedication to breast-feeding. It was amazing. To hear this from someone, anyone, let alone a medical professional? Finally someone who “got” what I had gone through! And it only took a $100 out of pocket Dr visit!

Because of the fact that we did make it through breastfeeding, it had stretched, just enough. But not enough that he no longer had it. Because of his age, there was no way he was going to be able to clip it in his office. Had I brought him when we had initially gone through all of this he would have been able to do it then. So, now at 18 months we would have to take him to Children’s Hospital where he would undergo general anesthesia for 10 to 15 minutes. He said it would be a pretty quick and easy procedure, but the idea of putting him under really freaks me out.

He suggested we wait a couple of years and see if it in fact interferes with his speech and if it does we can then go through with the procedure. That made sense. But after talking and thinking it over a bit I’m not so sure. I’m not sure I want Joaquin to go through speech difficulties; to deal with the frustration of not being able to communicate and then have to deal with relearning speech with is new free tongue. But at the same time, what if there won’t be a speech problem and we go through the whole procedure for nothing? Not that we’ll ever know.

So Dan and I have decided we’ll go with something in the middle. We’re going to see how his speech progresses over the next 6 months to a year and go from there. I’m just so glad I followed through with my gut and saw a specialist. While it has brought us to have to deal with some decisions, it has validated that I knew something was wrong all along.

Validation for 100 dollars, please. (two of three)

Part two of three

Joaquin’s pediatrician took a look and confirmed that he was in fact tongue tied, but he said it wasn’t too severe and that over time it would stretch. I was exasperated. Over time? I didn’t have time. I tried to explain how painful and difficult nursing was, but he kind of shrugged me off. It was quite disappointing as he has always listened and been respectful to me and my many opinions, both before and after this. He said that he could clip it but that he wouldn’t do it in office like some other pediatricians, but they would have to put Joaquin under general anesthesia. That wasn’t an option for me. I wasn’t putting my one-week-old baby under. No way.

I went back to my LC’s office and they referred me to another pediatrician that had worked with many mothers with the same issue and he generally clipped it in office. I called and made the appointment. Because they were out of my medical group, I was going to have to pay out of pocket. I didn’t care. I just wanted it fixed. But, as we got closer to the appointment date, things got better for Joaquin and I. I kept second-guessing my decision to getting it clipped. Maybe the ped was right, and it would stretch? Finally, a couple of days before the appointment I chickened out and cancelled it.

I don’t know how we did it, but we made it through nursing. We used the nipple shields and I kept him on the breast as much as possible to keep my supply up. Finally my nipples healed and we were able to stop with the shields. There was some discomfort for a while, but it never got back to how bad they were in the beginning. So I just assumed my pediatrician was right and it did stretch. It was over, or so I thought.

Part three is here.

Validation for 100 dollars, please. (one of three)

Part one of three...

Joaquin nursed all night long, our first night together while still in the hospital. I asked the nurse a few times to see the Lactation Consultant, but she said she was only referred if it looked like there was a bad latch. She glanced down at us and said the latch looked fine. I told her it hurt, that it didn’t feel right and she reminded me that he was my first and that I’ve never had a baby sucking on my boobs for hours on end. Of course it was going to be uncomfortable. She also told me not to let him nurse all night long, that I was “just asking” for sore nipples.

So I of course assumed she knew what she was talking about. We went home the next day and I kept on trying to nurse. I had Joaquin on a Tuesday. By Friday my nipples were cracked and bloody. I went to a nursing support group where one of the Lactation Consultants took a look and asked me why I waited so long to come in. “He was only born Tuesday,” I mumbled as I stared down at him. She gave me some tips, but not a lot of information and told me to come back on Monday to see if it was any better.

That weekend was hell. I walked in on Monday and begged to see a Lactation Consultant, one on one. I didn’t care how much it was or if one was available, I needed help. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. Why did it hurt so much? Why was I bleeding? Each time he latched on I cried out loud and shuddered in pain. When the LC took a closer look she was shocked I was still nursing. “I’m not quitting,” I told her. She took one quick look at Joaquin and had all the answers. “He’s tongue tied.” I had already suspected it from reading my many books over the weekend and his very obvious heart shaped tongue, but she confirmed it. Now what? She had me use nipple shields and told me what to do to help my nipples heal up and suggested I take Joaquin to his pediatrician to possibly get it clipped.

When I called to make the appointment, I explained to the nurse what was going on. I remember her saying that they wanted to get me in as soon as possible so I don’t give up. I vividly remember telling her “I’m not going to give up, that is why I need your help.”

To be continued...

Part two is here.

Hung over.

Last night Dan and I went on our June date night. Our friend's band was playing at a nearby bar and my mom so kindly offered to take Joaquin for the night. It was only his second time overnight with her but we were ready to give it another shot and willingly handed him over. He was so excited and all over the place when we got there, he didn't even have the time to say good bye.

When we got home I attempted a nap so we didn't end up eating before we went out. Big mistake. While at the bar I proceeded to have four Pear Ciders. Four. I can't even remember the last time I had one, so four was another big mistake. When it was time to go home neither of us really felt like stopping for food, my final mistake.

This morning when I woke up I felt like I had been run over by a very big truck containing lots and lots of Pear Cider. When I get this hung over, I can't keep anything down. So I threw up any liquids I tried to ingest. My head was pounding and my body was trembling. Nope, not a good thing.

I talked to my mom at about 9am and she said Joaquin was sleeping because he had woken up at 4:45 and didn't go back down until 8:30. My poor mom. So she said not to worry about picking him up until later. Thank goodness. I slept as much as my body would allow me, but by 11 there was no way I was going to get up and get Joaquin, so off Dan went.

He called me about an hour later to tell me he stopped at his parents to give me a bit more recovery time, thank you dear husband. By the time they got home, Joaquin was back asleep for his afternoon nap and I am now feeling much better. I can now keep liquids down and I'm seriously craving some greasy food. Another sign that my body is getting better!

So, note to future self....eat before you go out, don't drink 4 drinks ever again, and if you don't eat before you drink, please eat afterwards.

Losing Sleep in da 'Hood

At the ass crack of dawn this morning I was jarred awake by screams of bloody murder coming from our neighboring alley. I immediately jumped out of bed, grabbed my robe and ran to the side door while quickly glancing back to make sure Joaquin was still asleep. I ran to the door and looked out to see a girl on her hands and knees screaming at the top of her lungs. I went out and opened our side gate. Just as I was doing this, a guy called out to her and she got up and stumbled to a house while still screaming "WHY WHY WHY, Johnny, WHY??"

I was so confused. I called out to her, but she didn't hear me and then she disappeared along with her screams. I looked around stunned. My neighbors from across the street yelled out to me asking if she was OK. I told them that from what I could see she was. Then Dan and Joaquin appeared at the door. Joaquin had woken up and it was only 5:45. He stayed awake.

After the initial shock I was fucking pissed. What the hell was she doing screaming like that at 5:45 in the freaking morning? She woke us all up for what? Drama? She obviously wasn't physically hurt. Her screams were disturbing, they sounded so painful. I get her pain if her guy screwed her over, but don't do that in the middle of a bunch of houses at FIVE FORTY FIVE in the damn morning!!!

This little story reminded me of some drama from a couple of weeks ago that I also meant to blog.

At about 11:30pm, I heard Dan get up and Bella barking like a dog outta hell. I waited a couple of minutes in bed hoping they would all come back and shut the hell up. They didn't. I got up to find Dan on the phone with the police and then I looked out our side door to find this.







It seems some asshole tried to haul ass while taking a left turn up our alley and ended up through our neighbors fence, up an embankment, through another neighbors fence and hanging by three wheels. Dan heard it and got up and saw the guy running away. He called the cops but they didn't find anybody and figured the car was stolen. We all ended up awake until about 1 am while they tried to get the car down off of the embankment and took reports etc. Needles to say I was not a happy camper the next day at work.

All if this action in my 'hood is getting old. I just want a nice quiet place with no drama, is that too much to ask?

Oops. I did it again.

Yep. I tried cutting Joaquin's hair again.

His bangs were getting way too long and the poor little man hasn't figured out how to brush them aside, so he's been getting frustrated and rubbing at his eyes a lot lately. I came to the conclusion that the cost of gas and a haircut combined just wasn't worth it for an 18 month old, so we would just have to learn how to do this haircut thing ourselves.



I set up is high chair in the bathroom and attempted to distract him with an organic juice box that I had stashed away for such the occasion. He didn't last long. Luckily I only had to do the sides and the front since I took care of the back last month. Learning from my previous mistakes, I didn't cut straight across, but grabbed hair in between my fingers and cut down so it has a more textured look to it. But after a few minutes in the bathroom he flipped out and I set us up again in the living room in front of the tv. I'm such a good mom.



Here is the final product. Other than the sides being a bit off due to him shaking his head every time I tried to go there, I think it turned out OK this time. Hopefully our next attempt will be even better!




Oh, and by the way...Yes, I do often quote Britney Spears, she's a quotable person like that. Thank you very much.

....aaaand we're done.

Whew! Yesterday was my last day. It consisted of a department breakfast carb fest to see off the people that are abandoning us. Next was a whole staff breakfast meeting to say good by to retirees and discuss final procedures and then we were set free by 9am. I used the extra time to raid some vacant classrooms of their bookshelves and other goodies to bring to my new room. There I squared away as much as possible until about 11 when I said..."Screw it! It can wait a month or so!" So, I went and got Mexican food to bring home to Dan.

I have been still feeling anxious and in work mode though. I keep thinking of things I need or want to do and it's annoying. So, I've resolved to write these things down, but to not attend to anything for at least a month. I deserve a month of no work, don't I? Then I'll do what I can, when I can, come late July.

But for now, it's summer vacation, baby.