Quick Hi/Bye!

I'm still alive and actually fairly well. I've just been trying to keep up with the kids and household which leaves me little time to play with pictures and blog. Don't get me wrong, I've taken lots of pictures, just haven't loaded them up and edited them.

So what have I been doing? Well, I've been trying to get into the habit of meal planning and actually making these meals pretty much every night. Surprisingly that takes a lot more time than it did before having two kids! So nap time is pretty much all work around here. I try and pick-up the house a bit, prepare as much of dinner as possible and tend to the tiniest one. Oh and trying to fit in some exercise for me too...yeah, it's a lot to fit in to one 2 hour nap.

By bed time I'm done and tired so no time for blogging then either.

I'm sure I'll get some time back to myself sooner or later...so for now it's busy busy busy!!!

I'll be back soon, I promise....

I'm sick so you get pictures of the Ferry Ride!

I've had a fever for the past two nights. I'm not sure why, but I think it's the threat of Mastitis, but not full blown since I'm not having super severe pain, just a dull ache. I seem to be feeling better at the moment since Dan took Joaquin to his parents and I got some extra sleep. My fingers are crossed that it blows over soon...I've heard how bad this can get and I so don't want it!

So now that I have some time to just lay here and rest I can finally post some pictures of our Ferry Ride and walk on the harbor a couple of weeks ago.

We just can't get enough of watching our boys walk together holding hands...is it not the cutest thing ever?




Here they all are on the Ferry in their cute sunhats...








Posing in front of the Midway...




Playing in the leaves...




We came across this pretty amazing sculpture of the Greek Mythological figure Penelope...




If you look really close up her nose, you might see a familiar face...




I love this one of Julia...




And more of Joaquin's cuteness...




The three boys playing on a tree...




Isela was quite content, even in the sweltering heat, in the Moby wrap...




Time to go home! This one cracks me up, the three of us on the ride back...I just can't get over Joaquin's "smile"....




And here's the cuteness of Nelwyn & Lucca...




and Ollie & Julia...




Now that I'm feeling better I guess I should get some housework done...but maybe if you all are lucky I'll find a moment or two to finally post some pictures of Joaquin's first soccer class last week. It was some serious cuteness...seriously.

Our family bed

Yep, all four of us are in our bed. We are a co-sleeping (or co-bedding or bed-sharing or whatever) family and it works for us.

I know you have some questions for me, probably something along the lines of...
Why??? How did we get here? How do we do we manage to all fit safely? Do you actually sleep??

Before I even had Joaquin, I was doing lots and lots of reading. I soon figured out that I wanted to co-sleep with my baby. I knew it would make nursing at night easier, he would sleep better, it would keep us connected and I honestly couldn't imagine him being further than right next to me. There is also research out there that when done properly and safely it reduces the risk of SIDS. If you want more info, check this out, it's just the tip of the iceberg, but it's informative.

Anyway, after talking to Dan about it, it made perfect sense for us. We used to have Bella in our bed and Dan even said, "If we sleep with our dog, why wouldn't we sleep with our kids??" Of course Bella was out of our bed by the time Joaquin came along, but yes, it made perfect sense for us.

At about 6 months, I finally figured out how to attach our then unused crib to our bed in a side-car position by using this blog post. I took off the side rail and adjusted the mattress so that it was nearly flush with our mattress. We pushed it up against our bed and it added a ton of space. It gave us more room for us all to spread out and since the crib mattress was flush to our mattress we still had all the perks of being in the same bed.

When Joaquin was almost two, I felt like maybe it was time to get him into his own bed. Dan wasn't really on board, he felt like Joaquin was doing fine with us, but for some reason I thought it was just "time". I got him a toddler bed on craigslist and we started working on the transition.

It worked for a bit but it honestly didn't last too long. Turned out nobody was ready for the change, not even me. I wasn't getting any sleep at night because I kept listening for Joaquin. It wasn't until he woke up and I brought him into bed with us that I finally really fell asleep and some nights that was well past 3 am or so.

So we kept going with our little co-sleeping family. Then I got pregnant. I was worried about how we were going to bring the baby into this mix. But as we got further and further along in the pregnancy I realized I still wasn't ready for Joaquin to be out. I especially didn't want him to feel like he was pushed out of our bed and replaced by his little sister!

Isela came along and we are still all sleeping, together as one big happy family. The setup isn't the most aesthetically pleasing, but it works and seriously, this phase of the kids being little is really so short in the grand scheme of things. As soon as they're older and out, then we'll make the bed all fancy looking.





Now Isela sleeps in the crib, I sleep next to her and Joaquin is between Dan and me. We have plenty of space, we're all pretty comfortable and it's safe for little baby girl...and yes, we all sleep! The best thing ever is I don't have to get up to nurse in the middle of the night...and I have all the people I love right there within cuddling distance, how can you beat that??

A new ring sling!

For the past two days I have been spending any free moment I have making a new ring sling. I made one for Joaquin back when he was tiny, but I used it so much it was getting rather old and tattered. I found an awesome new fabric a bit ago that felt like was so me with lots of red, orange & yellow and have been meaning to make it for months. It was even on The List and all the sewing gear has been sitting in a pile in the kitchen just waiting for me.

Finally I got the itch and here it is. It could have been done better, but I was kind of rushed and a bit distracted at times, can't imagine why!?! So there are some sloppy parts here and there, but for the most part I'm pretty happy with it.







When I was wearing it tonight Joaquin asked me if I was a Princess Mommy. I do feel rather Royal in it and Dan agreed with him that I looked like a Princess. Heck, I figure if I'm going to be wearing a baby everywhere I might as well do it as Princess-like as possible!

Turning a corner...

The past week has really started to feel better with Joaquin.

All of the reassuring comments and reminders from you all saying that what we were going through was normal, really helped me put things back in perspective. I've also been doing some reading of some parenting books, the one that has really caught my attention is "It's a Boy! Understanding Your Son's Development from Birth to Age 18". It has helped me understand that all of these behaviors I was seeing was not only normal because of a new sibling, but also because he's a boy. It's easy to forget just how hands on and active he needs to be when having to juggle so many things, including a newborn.

Yeah, I knew he had to get out and burn energy, but even when sticking around the house, there are plenty of things that can keep him happy and engaged, especially if I'm not afraid to clean up a little mess and to pick a battle here and there.





Today was especially great. We woke up early and I gave him a cookie sheet full of rice & beans to play with his trucks and cars while I got us ready for the day. He didn't ask for TV once and he was totally in his adorable little world for a good couple of hours.





Then, just him and I went to his swim class. Dan has been taking him lately, but since I've started pumping my milk, I was able to go today while Dan stayed home with Isela. We had such a great time and I was seriously so happy to just play and spend time with him.

Back at home he helped me organize his room, he napped and then we went for a long long walk to the park. There weren't any huge power struggles, no tantrums, no bouncing off the walls...just a great day, like we used to have.

Last Saturday I even took him out on a date, we went to dinner and then to Borders to buy a couple of books and to get a chocolate milk and a cookie. Ever since then I've really noticed a difference in his moods. I feel like he's starting to understand that yes he has to share me, but Mama isn't gone.

I know we will have our good and not so good days, but it's great to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I mean, he really loves his baby sister...







How's Isela doing? She's such a sweet and mellow little thing and is growing so fast!







She got to meet her cousin this weekend. My Step-Brother and his wife had their son about a week before we had Isela...Little Isaac...



Oh, and now that she's One Month old, she's officially found her thumb...

Switching gears

Yesterday was the first day back for all teachers in my school district. Of course I wasn't there, but what did I end up doing? I checked my district email like five times, called my former department co-chair for an update and went in today to "visit".

What the heck is wrong with me?!?!

I wanted out for so long so that I could spend some quality time taking care of my kids, and now that I am out, I longingly peek back in?

I know we made the right decision for me to take some time off with the kids, I'm not second guessing that, but I am having a hard time letting go of that part of me. I thought it would be so easy to let her go...but not really.

I kind of skated my way through college and started teaching at 23. For about 7 years I was super career oriented. I was on my way to my Master's and even considered an Administrator's Credential. Then I had Joaquin. I thought I would be able to go back to work and just keep on truckin' I didn't think I would turn into one of "those" moms. But I did.

Once it was time to go back to work I just physically couldn't do it. I was a basket case. I cried on the phone to my Principal and begged for at least a part time position, and I got it. I finished that school year working 4 days a week and the next year I was working 3 days. Was it the perfect answer? No, but it was better than working full time.

Last year I had to go back full time because of Dan's job situation and then I got pregnant at the beginning of the year. As you probably know, that was seriously the hardest year for me professionally. All I wanted to do was be at home with Joaquin and my soon to be baby.

Well, we are making it work. Not without some HUGE sacrifices, but I'm here with my two kids. I should be on cloud nine, right? I am happy, I love them and I love watching them grow, but at the same time I'm kind of shocked at who I am now. Not that I'm not happy with myself, it's just not who I ever expected myself to be. I was a completely different person when it came to my career once I had kids.

I look at on of my school's Vice Principal's, the one in charge of my department and I wonder if that could have been me. She is my age, and it seems she took that path that I veered off of. I wonder if I'll ever get back on it...I wonder if I'll ever want to?

I'm not one of those that "wants it all" the great career and the great family. I can't do it all and I don't even want to try. I'm happy with staying focused on one thing at a time and right now that is my family. Switching my focus is just taking a little more getting used to than I though it would.

Last week

As promised, here is a more upbeat post with pictures from last week.

Last Saturday we went to Dan's parents house so they could finally meet Isela. They had been out of town since the birth!

Isela was really over the flash, but seriously, how can I resist?




Dan's mom, Donna, with Isela...




You know every mom takes those photos...yep, the baby on the lap shot.








Last Wednesday Joaquin went to a puppet show with some of his friends. Here they are all stoked and showing off their tickets...it was pretty frickin' cute.






HUGS!!!!




And here is Isela after a bath with her fuzzy hair, again, pretty annoyed with the flash...




Oh, and before her bath, all sweaty and cute in her cloth diaper...



Tomorrow we're taking the kids out on the Coronado Ferry...I know they will love it, so I'll be back soon with pics!

Also, thank you for the comments here, on facebook and in person about my last post. They all really helped me put things in perspective and understand that this is all just a normal passing phase. That's helping me to chill out a bit which is encouraging Joaquin to chill out a bit. It's awesome to know I have such great supportive people sharing in my life through this blog...I appreciate it more than you know!