A bit of an update.

How lame is it that I only have 3 posts under January? That must change so here I am to update you all, and bring my monthly posts to a whopping FOUR!!

So the past few months have been really really hard. I've had the morning sickness, the exhaustion and even the depression. My pregnancy with Joaquin was pretty easy, so I wasn't prepared for this. All of that on top of chasing a toddler and working full time was just too much. But this past week the clouds have parted and I can see the light! No more nausea, gagging and puking. I can make it past 8pm and I'm not a walking emotionless zombie. I am getting headaches though. It seems like as soon as the nausea stopped the headaches came on full force. I went most of last week without one, but woke up to a lovely one today. Hopefully it's a passing phase.

Life is interesting these days. Dan is working the tax season doing taxes so that is good. Unfortunately he's not making much dinero, but he does enjoy it. We're both hoping this leads to something beyond the tax season.

There were two things I swore to myself once we were pregnant and having another child. One was that I would stay home with both kids for a minimum of a year...minimum. The other was that I would have a homebirth. I'm not sure if I'm getting either. Well, I'm pretty much positive the homebirth is not going to happen and we're working on the me staying home thing, but I'm not sure how much time we're going to be able to pull off.

The realization of these two things have really taken it's toll on me emotionally. I'm trying to stay positive and worry about things I can control, but money, or lack of it just plain sucks.

So that's where I've been lately...sitting around gagging and crying over money. Pretty obvious why I haven't been in the mood to write much, right?

We'll see what the coming months bring...

Go figure...

As you know, this year has been really hard for me professionally. Most days I want to run away from here screaming and never want to come back. Other days I leave feeling neither here nor there. Very rarely do I leave happy.

Today I found out I was nominated for Teacher of the Year for my school. I seriously laughed when I saw it. Me?!?! Angry, bitter, me?

I'm positive I won't actually win it, but still, I'm on the list with teachers that I admire and respect. So that's pretty cool, and kind of makes me feel like I'm not a total waste of space.

Maybe I'll actually leave today kind of happy?

His first day...

Dan did the drop off this morning because he goes into work later than I do. I was so sad to miss it, but Dan took this picture for me as they walked out the door.



Just like with me a couple of weeks ago, Joaquin dove right in and barely said goodbye when he left. I called in the mid-morning and they said everything was great.

When I went to pick him up this afternoon I walked in the classroom and it took about 2 or 3 minutes for him to even notice me! I watched him get up from the rug and sit down at the table to get his snack. He was so cute! He followed his directions and sat so patiently for his apple and crackers.

Then he saw me...he squealed "Hi Mami!", but stayed where he was and went right back to hanging with his buddies. After snack I actually had to bribe him with Bita's house (my mom's house) to leave! He even napped for almost two hours, it was my biggest worry because an unnapped Joaquin is not a happy Joaquin. But he was just fine!

It makes me feel so much better to see how much fun he was having. I think it's so funny how people talk about babies that co-sleep and nurse longer than the normal year will have "attachment issues". Joaquin is so the opposite! He just totally impressed me today with his outgoing and social personality. It makes me happy.

Joaquin starts preschool tomorrow.

I'm not sure how I feel about it. Part of me knows he'll love it. But the other part of me is just plain mad.

We have been lucky that he has not had to go to any sort of formal childcare in his two years. We've always worked it out with family and friends. When Dan lost his job last year, he took over childcare. It worked for a while, but now Dan is working during the tax season and the in-laws have done more than their fair share. So off to preschool our little guy goes.

But I'm ready for MY turn.

I went in with Joaquin for a few hours the week of Christmas to test the waters. As soon as we walked in the classroom he left my side and dove right in. I stuck around and chatted with teachers and played with the kids. He loved it and cried when we left, so I'm pretty sure tomorrow will go fine...at least until nap time. We'll see how that goes.

There is so much more to tell...so much about how I'm feeling these days. But I'll save that for another post. Now it's time for me to go attempt some sort of sleep.