Saturday, January 31, 2009

A bit of an update.

How lame is it that I only have 3 posts under January? That must change so here I am to update you all, and bring my monthly posts to a whopping FOUR!!

So the past few months have been really really hard. I've had the morning sickness, the exhaustion and even the depression. My pregnancy with Joaquin was pretty easy, so I wasn't prepared for this. All of that on top of chasing a toddler and working full time was just too much. But this past week the clouds have parted and I can see the light! No more nausea, gagging and puking. I can make it past 8pm and I'm not a walking emotionless zombie. I am getting headaches though. It seems like as soon as the nausea stopped the headaches came on full force. I went most of last week without one, but woke up to a lovely one today. Hopefully it's a passing phase.

Life is interesting these days. Dan is working the tax season doing taxes so that is good. Unfortunately he's not making much dinero, but he does enjoy it. We're both hoping this leads to something beyond the tax season.

There were two things I swore to myself once we were pregnant and having another child. One was that I would stay home with both kids for a minimum of a year...minimum. The other was that I would have a homebirth. I'm not sure if I'm getting either. Well, I'm pretty much positive the homebirth is not going to happen and we're working on the me staying home thing, but I'm not sure how much time we're going to be able to pull off.

The realization of these two things have really taken it's toll on me emotionally. I'm trying to stay positive and worry about things I can control, but money, or lack of it just plain sucks.

So that's where I've been lately...sitting around gagging and crying over money. Pretty obvious why I haven't been in the mood to write much, right?

We'll see what the coming months bring...

7 comments:

knrush said...

If you have a PPO you might be able to swing the homebirth.

Ciria said...

We have an HMO :(

Eliska Bobeeska said...

Hi love!! I have to tell you, this could be the last time that you give birth. It's going to be a day you are going to remember for the rest of your life. The experience of having your baby at home is priceless. I think you should be able to do it for around $3000 ?? If you can ask for help from family, or even have a fund raising party for it??? If you don't do it the way you want to now, you might not ever get the chance, and I must say that cuddling up in your own bed with your brand new baby is like no other feeling I have known. (I'm sure you can imagine). I'm just saying that it's worth the debt, or whatever it takes, because you don't want to regret it later. If there are any complications during your labor you can always have the plan be to go to your HMO hospital and then it will be covered....just a thought.

Ciria said...

You're right Alisha, and that is why I'm still trying to hold onto the idea. But the fact of the matter is our finances are getting really complicated right now, and we honestly don't know if we'll actually still be living here or where we'll be living in 6 months. Yep, it's that complicated!

LisaBella said...

Can I help with the nausea and depression? I have a great biofeedback protocol to smooth things over and give you more energy. Do you have any week days off? Joaquin can hang with Isabella while I wire you up!

Ciria said...

I have a couple of Mondays off coming up...I'll email you!!!

Amy said...

Ahh, Ciria, I'm so sorry that things are difficult right now. You are such a strong lady. I really admire that about you. You will get through this and be a better you for it. HUGS!!!