So far so good...

Nursing Joaquin did not start out well, so I've been kind of paranoid that things were also not going to go well with Isela.

At the hospital her latch hurt a bit, and even though the nurse said it looked good, I still insisted they send the Lactation Consultant. She came and gave a few pointers and I also had her check for tongue tie. I did not want to go through that drama again and luckily Isela looked good.

There was some soreness and scabbing and all that fun stuff in the first week, but luckily it cleared quickly unlike with Joaquin which lasted weeks.

Today I made a quick stop at the Lactation Consultant's office I used with Joaquin. They have support groups that I attended at least once if not three times a week when I was struggling back then with him. There wasn't a group when I went in today, but I was still able to weigh her, nurse her and weigh her again to see how we were doing.

Turns out Isela is up to 9 pounds 1 ounce, up from 8 pounds 9 ounces a week ago. That's an ounce a day she has gained! She also nursed just over two ounces which the LC said is perfect at two weeks old.

Yay!

Week two

Here are some pictures of last week...week two!

On the first day of Isela's 2nd week of life we decided a trip to the zoo was in order, we even ate dinner at the fancy pants restaurant they have there...and I even had a glass of wine. Crazy stuff, I know.




Not the best of pictures, but it's of the three of us on the Skyfari...







Yep, I'm nursing while walking through the zoo...it can be done, and nobody had a clue!






The next day, Joaquin wanted to be the baby...




while Isela was looking all growns up already, I can't believe she is only one week and one day old here!



The following Sunday, we went to my mom's for breakfast...how does one resist the outfits? Oh and the bows? Oh the bows!






Lucky for me that camera doesn't work anymore...I'm not a big fan of the pictures lately.




Our first photo as a family of FOUR!




We got to give Isela her first bath that Sunday evening, of course Joaquin was a big help...










We had our 2nd pediatrician appointment on Tuesday and Isela was above her birth-weight at 8 pounds 9.5 ounces, so it looks like nursing is going well! No pictures of that even though...but here she is at a whole TWO weeks old!



It's crazy how fast these past couple of weeks have gone. While this newborn phase and adjusting to life with two kids is no easy task, Dan and I realize how fast it goes...we're trying to enjoy and suck up as much sweetness as we can.

More to come soon!

Making progress.

I had three big transitions that I wanted to help Joaquin through before we had the baby. But after much thought and consideration I decided to focus on just two, weaning and potty learning...I felt like the third, moving him to his bed, along with a number of other factors, was just too much all at once. I'm probably even pushing it with just these two, but so far so good. We've made a lot of progress lately!

We have been completely weaned since Joaquin's little spill back in April. Yep, that was the last time he nursed! He's asked for it here and there, but I've always found a way to distract him or help him through the moment in other ways. I recently bought a couple of "new baby" board books, and one of them shows the new baby nursing...that kind of threw him for a loop, but we got past it. I hope he can get past it once it's the actual baby nursing! I'm also hoping that a good 3-4 months of not nursing before the arrival of the baby is long enough for him to not feel like the baby is taking something away from him.

We also have a nearly full time non-diaper wearer! For a while now, Joaquin has been totally able to go to the potty when he's hanging out naked, but as soon as he put on undies he would get confused and go in them. We've been working on it on weekends here and there, but nothing too consistent and I think it was just confusing him. So, since Wednesday, we have gone cold turkey. He has only been in undies, except for at night and he is totally rockin' it! Of course we have had some accidents here and there, but I think they're needed for him to feel the difference.

We had a big break-through yesterday, waking up in the morning was always a battle to take off that morning diaper. He loved to hold onto it and pee and pee as much as he could. I knew we were making progress when yesterday morning he woke up and tried to pull off his diaper while wiggling that have to pee kind of wiggle. This morning he did the same and his diaper was totally dry! He's been napping here and there with no diaper, but now he can totally make it through, no problem. We've gone out and about with our little potty in hand and he's using it as needed and holding it, for the most part, as needed as well. I'm still putting him in a diaper at night, while I think he could probably make it though, I'm just not brave enough and really don't want to wake up to a puddle of pee!

I know we will still have accidents, but I'm so excited for the progress that has been made these past few days. I'm so super proud of him and he is so proud of himself, it's so super cute to watch him when he knows he's doing well...that huge smile is just priceless!

Losing my "reset button"

Since I got pregnant, I've been slowly encouraging the idea of weaning to Joaquin. I'm just not one of those amazing souls who are willing to take an adventure in tandem nursing. So my hope is to wean at least a few months before the new baby comes...It's been going surprisingly well.

Our biggest accomplishment has been to cut out nursing to sleep which has lead to totally night weaning. All it took was me asking him to go to sleep like he does at school. For some amazingly strange reason, he just simply falls asleep at school come nap time. I kept asking them what were they doing to make him do it, and they kept telling me that he just laid down and went to sleep! So one night I got up my nerve and asked him to do the same. And he did it. He just laid down, closed his eyes and went to sleep. Who knew all this time I just had to ask the kid?!? Since he doesn't nurse to sleep, he doesn't wake up to nurse. It's amazing.

Since this incredible evening he has slowed down a lot during the day too. For a couple of weeks there, he was only nursing every couple of days. Then he got sick, and has been nursing once or twice a day. This is still a huge accomplishment for us and as soon as he gets over this I'm sure he will slow down again.

One huge thing I've noticed during this transition though is the loss of my trusty "reset button". If he was freaking out, tantruming and/or straight up losing his sh*t, I knew I could always nurse him back to sanity. It just took a few minutes on the boob and he would reset back to his sweet sweet self.

This morning, I don't know what happened, but he fuh-lipped. I tried to distract him. I tried to hug him. I tried to ignore him. I even tried to pawn him off on his father. Food? nope. Drink? nope. A freaking cookie? Nope. I didn't offer milk because I'm trying to stick to the don't offer don't refuse philosophy. So when he finally asked for milk, I agreed. Within minutes he was done and ready for the zoo, like his head wasn't spinning in full on circles just 5 minutes earlier.

So what do I do? Once the milk is totally gone and no longer an option how do I reset him when he goes all satan's spawn on me? My boobs have not failed me for over two years now, I have no other tricks in my bag! So all you wise mamas out there...speak up, I need some tips, tricks and whatever else you'll give me! I'll take it!

It did not go well.

I am a walking zombie today and am rethinking my desire to night wean.

He woke up in his bed at 10pm. I brought him to bed with us and he went right back to sleep without nursing. I mistakenly thought this was a sign that the rest of the night would go just as smoothly.

He woke up again just after 11. I had just started to really fall asleep because work crap kept running in and out of my brain. I was not happy. He kept searching for milk while I held and hugged him. He screamed for milk and I reminded him it went sleepies. He was not happy. He cried in my arms for about 5 minutes and fell back to sleep while laying on his back on my stomach and I whispered "I love you, I love you" over and over in his ear.

He woke up again at 1:30 and had decided he really wanted milk and he wasn't taking NO for an answer. He tossed himself all over the bed. He wouldn't let me hold him. He screamed. He cried. I just wanted to go back to sleep. Finally after what felt like an eternity, but was probably more like 10 minutes, I gave in. Here. Nurse. Just let me sleep.

But after a few minutes of nursing my skin was crawling. I just couldn't handle it. I feel so bad, but I'm so done with night time nursing! I whispered to him "Ok, time to finish." He shook his head. "Time for milk to go sleepies." He kept on. Finally I tried to pop him off. That kid held on for dear life.

When I finally got him unlatched he screamed bloody murder. He was pissed. I was evil. I held him and whispered in his ear for a few minutes and he soon settled down and fell back to sleep.

At 4:30 he was up and looking for milk again. I was done. I had to get up in two hours and was not up for a battle. He nursed for a minute or two and rolled back over. Then did the same at about 6am. I finally got out of bed close to 7 and am not in the best of moods today.

Can I really handle this again tonight?

Night Weaning

Yes, Joaquin still nurses at night. I know, I know, and yes...it is starting to drive me insane.

We worked on night weaning this summer, and by the end, I pretty much had him off the boob from bedtime to about 5 am. Everyday, I would remind him that when we all went "sleepies", milk went "sleepies" too. I would also try and top him off with yogurt before bed to make sure he didn't wake up in the middle of the night hungry. Some nights he would wake up and beg for milk "peeeease!". Other nights he would wake up and roll around, wouldn't even bother to ask and then fall back asleep. He still woke up in his bed around midnight, but when I brought him into ours he would just roll over and fall back asleep, it was awesome! Then at 5 am, like clockwork, he would wake up to nurse. I was OK with it because I knew once I went back to work, I would want to nurse before I got up.

So, I went back to work and all was well, for a few days at least.

He then got a fever for a couple of days. His canines were coming in and while he didn't seem in too much pain, I was concerned about the fever and wanted to make sure he nursed as much as needed. This was nearly four weeks ago.

Now we are back to nursing multiple times a night and it. has. to. stop. We made some headway a couple of weeks ago, and I have to admit, it was much easier to get back on track, but we have since fallen off the wagon.

Last night he threw a fit and a half when I had finally told him no more. He did finally fall asleep, albeit while crying in my arms.

So tonight, we're back on it. This afternoon we'll be talking about how "milk goes sleepies". I'm gorging him with yogurt before bedtime and I'm pulling out my turtle neck.

Wish me luck.

Validation for 100 dollars, please. (three of three)

Part three of three...

Lately, I have noticed that Joaquin sticks his little tongue out a lot and wondered if it had anything to do with the tongue-tie. After doing a little bit of research I found that tongue thrust could definitely be caused by it and that it could also cause a number of other issues including speech problems. It was in the back of my mind for a while so I finally got a reference to a Pediatric Ear, Nose & Throat Dr that is well known for his work with tongue-tie. He was also out of my insurance medical group so I had to pay out of pocket. But at this point I didn’t care; I wanted some real answers.

I drove up to Encinitas to his office early Friday morning. He was very nice, listened and spent a whole half an hour with us. He took a look in Joaquin’s mouth and said that he has what is called Category One Ankyloglossia, which is tongue-tie with the heart shaped tongue. When he found out we were still nursing he was shocked. He said he had never met a mother who endured breastfeeding with this type of tongue-tie without getting it clipped. He asked me if we dealt with the bleeding, the pain, the crying while nursing? Yes, I did. He told me he was impressed by me and my dedication to breast-feeding. It was amazing. To hear this from someone, anyone, let alone a medical professional? Finally someone who “got” what I had gone through! And it only took a $100 out of pocket Dr visit!

Because of the fact that we did make it through breastfeeding, it had stretched, just enough. But not enough that he no longer had it. Because of his age, there was no way he was going to be able to clip it in his office. Had I brought him when we had initially gone through all of this he would have been able to do it then. So, now at 18 months we would have to take him to Children’s Hospital where he would undergo general anesthesia for 10 to 15 minutes. He said it would be a pretty quick and easy procedure, but the idea of putting him under really freaks me out.

He suggested we wait a couple of years and see if it in fact interferes with his speech and if it does we can then go through with the procedure. That made sense. But after talking and thinking it over a bit I’m not so sure. I’m not sure I want Joaquin to go through speech difficulties; to deal with the frustration of not being able to communicate and then have to deal with relearning speech with is new free tongue. But at the same time, what if there won’t be a speech problem and we go through the whole procedure for nothing? Not that we’ll ever know.

So Dan and I have decided we’ll go with something in the middle. We’re going to see how his speech progresses over the next 6 months to a year and go from there. I’m just so glad I followed through with my gut and saw a specialist. While it has brought us to have to deal with some decisions, it has validated that I knew something was wrong all along.

Validation for 100 dollars, please. (two of three)

Part two of three

Joaquin’s pediatrician took a look and confirmed that he was in fact tongue tied, but he said it wasn’t too severe and that over time it would stretch. I was exasperated. Over time? I didn’t have time. I tried to explain how painful and difficult nursing was, but he kind of shrugged me off. It was quite disappointing as he has always listened and been respectful to me and my many opinions, both before and after this. He said that he could clip it but that he wouldn’t do it in office like some other pediatricians, but they would have to put Joaquin under general anesthesia. That wasn’t an option for me. I wasn’t putting my one-week-old baby under. No way.

I went back to my LC’s office and they referred me to another pediatrician that had worked with many mothers with the same issue and he generally clipped it in office. I called and made the appointment. Because they were out of my medical group, I was going to have to pay out of pocket. I didn’t care. I just wanted it fixed. But, as we got closer to the appointment date, things got better for Joaquin and I. I kept second-guessing my decision to getting it clipped. Maybe the ped was right, and it would stretch? Finally, a couple of days before the appointment I chickened out and cancelled it.

I don’t know how we did it, but we made it through nursing. We used the nipple shields and I kept him on the breast as much as possible to keep my supply up. Finally my nipples healed and we were able to stop with the shields. There was some discomfort for a while, but it never got back to how bad they were in the beginning. So I just assumed my pediatrician was right and it did stretch. It was over, or so I thought.

Part three is here.

Validation for 100 dollars, please. (one of three)

Part one of three...

Joaquin nursed all night long, our first night together while still in the hospital. I asked the nurse a few times to see the Lactation Consultant, but she said she was only referred if it looked like there was a bad latch. She glanced down at us and said the latch looked fine. I told her it hurt, that it didn’t feel right and she reminded me that he was my first and that I’ve never had a baby sucking on my boobs for hours on end. Of course it was going to be uncomfortable. She also told me not to let him nurse all night long, that I was “just asking” for sore nipples.

So I of course assumed she knew what she was talking about. We went home the next day and I kept on trying to nurse. I had Joaquin on a Tuesday. By Friday my nipples were cracked and bloody. I went to a nursing support group where one of the Lactation Consultants took a look and asked me why I waited so long to come in. “He was only born Tuesday,” I mumbled as I stared down at him. She gave me some tips, but not a lot of information and told me to come back on Monday to see if it was any better.

That weekend was hell. I walked in on Monday and begged to see a Lactation Consultant, one on one. I didn’t care how much it was or if one was available, I needed help. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. Why did it hurt so much? Why was I bleeding? Each time he latched on I cried out loud and shuddered in pain. When the LC took a closer look she was shocked I was still nursing. “I’m not quitting,” I told her. She took one quick look at Joaquin and had all the answers. “He’s tongue tied.” I had already suspected it from reading my many books over the weekend and his very obvious heart shaped tongue, but she confirmed it. Now what? She had me use nipple shields and told me what to do to help my nipples heal up and suggested I take Joaquin to his pediatrician to possibly get it clipped.

When I called to make the appointment, I explained to the nurse what was going on. I remember her saying that they wanted to get me in as soon as possible so I don’t give up. I vividly remember telling her “I’m not going to give up, that is why I need your help.”

To be continued...

Part two is here.