Wednesday, August 6, 2008

suck it up

I don't know why, but I'm feeling more sad today than I did yesterday. It's so silly. It's not like I was even pregnant for that long! I also feel like the two people closest to me don't understand why I'm sad and seem almost surprised by it. While everybody else asks how I'm doing and offer hugs and support. It would be nice if those closest to me could do the same. We went to the beach today and I was fine while we were there. But as soon as we got in the car to come home I started feeling crappy again. Now that I'm home and Joaquin is asleep I wish I could just crawl in a hole. I feel like I want to cry, but I can't. I feel like I want to scream, but I can't. I feel like I just want to walk away, but I can't. Seriously, I need to get a grip. Things could be so much worse. People live through little things like this all the time. I just need to suck it up and move on.

4 comments:

veganmomma said...

Whatever you are feeling is real, I wouldn't worry about sucking it up, really, just allow yourself to grieve in whatever way feels right to you. Of course there are always people who have it worse than ourselves, but that shouldn't make you feel like you can't feel what you are feeling. I hope you can cry and scream soon. Big hugs,
sara

Iris said...

Sara said it perfectly. You should allow yourself to grieve or have whatever feelings come to you. Hugs.

Luci said...

Your feelings are very valid. It's completely understandable to be crushed. Very big hugs.

knrush said...

I agree with all above. Let your feelings out. I can only imagine how difficult this is. We'd be happy to have Joaquin for awhile so you can have some time to yourself.