Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Our family bed

Yep, all four of us are in our bed. We are a co-sleeping (or co-bedding or bed-sharing or whatever) family and it works for us.

I know you have some questions for me, probably something along the lines of...
Why??? How did we get here? How do we do we manage to all fit safely? Do you actually sleep??

Before I even had Joaquin, I was doing lots and lots of reading. I soon figured out that I wanted to co-sleep with my baby. I knew it would make nursing at night easier, he would sleep better, it would keep us connected and I honestly couldn't imagine him being further than right next to me. There is also research out there that when done properly and safely it reduces the risk of SIDS. If you want more info, check this out, it's just the tip of the iceberg, but it's informative.

Anyway, after talking to Dan about it, it made perfect sense for us. We used to have Bella in our bed and Dan even said, "If we sleep with our dog, why wouldn't we sleep with our kids??" Of course Bella was out of our bed by the time Joaquin came along, but yes, it made perfect sense for us.

At about 6 months, I finally figured out how to attach our then unused crib to our bed in a side-car position by using this blog post. I took off the side rail and adjusted the mattress so that it was nearly flush with our mattress. We pushed it up against our bed and it added a ton of space. It gave us more room for us all to spread out and since the crib mattress was flush to our mattress we still had all the perks of being in the same bed.

When Joaquin was almost two, I felt like maybe it was time to get him into his own bed. Dan wasn't really on board, he felt like Joaquin was doing fine with us, but for some reason I thought it was just "time". I got him a toddler bed on craigslist and we started working on the transition.

It worked for a bit but it honestly didn't last too long. Turned out nobody was ready for the change, not even me. I wasn't getting any sleep at night because I kept listening for Joaquin. It wasn't until he woke up and I brought him into bed with us that I finally really fell asleep and some nights that was well past 3 am or so.

So we kept going with our little co-sleeping family. Then I got pregnant. I was worried about how we were going to bring the baby into this mix. But as we got further and further along in the pregnancy I realized I still wasn't ready for Joaquin to be out. I especially didn't want him to feel like he was pushed out of our bed and replaced by his little sister!

Isela came along and we are still all sleeping, together as one big happy family. The setup isn't the most aesthetically pleasing, but it works and seriously, this phase of the kids being little is really so short in the grand scheme of things. As soon as they're older and out, then we'll make the bed all fancy looking.



Now Isela sleeps in the crib, I sleep next to her and Joaquin is between Dan and me. We have plenty of space, we're all pretty comfortable and it's safe for little baby girl...and yes, we all sleep! The best thing ever is I don't have to get up to nurse in the middle of the night...and I have all the people I love right there within cuddling distance, how can you beat that??


Eliska Bobeeska said...

awww I love it Ciria. I think my favorite thing is waking up between my loves...there is really nothing like it! We bought a king size bed when my baby was about a month old...that made all of the difference! I'm with you here...I love the family bed =)

Espi, Lisa and Isabella said...

"If we sleep with our dog why wouldn't we sleep with our kids" That's genius!!

We are moving into a new world now of letting Isa choose her own bedtime, and guess what - she is back in our bed now. Sweet!!

Luci said...

So sweet! We did the same thing...Lola was in our bed from the beginning and it felt wrong to me to push her into her own bed for the new baby...I certainly didn't want her associate that with Elise's arrival...So, when Elise was about 2.5, we made up their room and put them in bed together. They love it and I feel good knowing they spent those first years securely with us.

knrush said...

Nicely said. I love it. It's so nice to be close.