Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Time to make some decisions.

So today is Dan's first day with Joaquin and I have already called a couple of times. The first time he was searching for Joaquin's shoes. The second time, they were eating snacks at the zoo. After both phone calls, I couldn't help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

In the past two days, things have definitely changed. I'm having a really hard time organizing my thoughts and feelings. There were a few moments yesterday, especially at the park with Joaquin, where I just wanted to break down and cry. But later in the afternoon when we were all together as a family, I was just on top of the world. I can just see the connection between Dan and Joaquin growing more and more. It's like since Dan knows he is going to be the primary caregiver now he has opened up his heart even more to him. He's doing more "little things" and big things around the house and he's just plain happier. Just shows how much that job was bringing him down.

As some of you have said, I know things happen for a reason. I just wish I knew what the reason was. But for now, it seems the Universe has a plan.

After a conversation with a coworker, I found out it would be very easy for me to go back up to full time status right now because she wants to go part-time to work on her PhD. She didn't know about our situation yet, the conversation just sort of happened. I also found out that people are needed for summer school. It's easy money and only half days. I hate the idea of going back full time and working summer school. But at the same time, with Dan home, it wouldn't be the end of the world. If it's what I have to do for our family right now, it's what I have to do.

I'm really hoping that if we can make things work right here, right now, it will hopefully open some doors to allow me to stay home full time in the future. I'm starting to itch for baby number two, but for that to happen, in my mind, I have to be able to stay home.

No decisions have been officially made, but we will have to soon. So, give me your thoughts, feedback... anything! Should I just bite the bullet and work full time and let Dan be the stay at home dad for now? Or...??

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