Update to my LACK of progress!

I saw my midwife today and showed her that her silly prediction of 5 days from last Friday was obviously wrong. While logically I knew that it was a silly prediction, I couldn't help but get my hopes and nerves up. I really wish I hadn't.

So today I had her do an internal and even strip my membranes. Yes, I was feeling that impatient! If you don't know what it is I'm talking about, you might want to keep it that way. I found out that after all these contractions coming 10 minutes apart for days now, I am only 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced with her head at the -3 station. Yep, that's it. Immediately following the appointment I was so disappointed I just wanted to cry...but I didn't.

Then I came home, rested a bit with Joaquin and realized that I wasn't pissy. I wasn't counting contractions and minutes, nope, I was finally relaxed again.

The prediction of 5 days just stressed me out and had me thinking "any moment now" all the freaking time. Now, I'm back to "it'll happen when it happens". Things are ready, I'll try and keep things ready, but I'm not going to let it get to me again.

The due date is August 6th. She may come before, she may come after. Who the heck knows!

Until then, I'm going to keep doing as much as I can with Joaquin and try and enjoy my days again, I feel like so much of this week was wasted to nerves!

So, I guess this internal did do me some good...it brought me back to reality and back to a little bit of sanity. Time to enjoy these final moments.

Happy Five Year Anniversary!!!!

I can't believe it's already been five years ago since Dan and I got married! Looking at these pictures, it blows my mind that now we have Joaquin and are about to have our 2nd!

Yesterday we had an unexpected date night because my mom took Joaquin up to Bakersfield for the day to visit his new cousin. We went for a spicy dinner at the new El Zarape and I got some of the best Chicken Mole ever...I swear I could live on that stuff! Anyway, we were just talking about what a tough year this has been for both ourselves individually and for ourselves as a couple. But we both know that when we make it out on the other side of all these outside stressors, and I know we will, we will just be that much stronger.

Happy Anniversary Dan...I love you!


Here are a bunch of photos by Jennifer Thomas Photography from the wedding, sorry there are so many, it's hard to whittle them down, I love them all so much...It was really a pretty amazing day!

Enjoy!

Click here to view these pictures larger

Jennifer did all the color ones and Nelwyn did the B&W ones, this was before I ever knew her as a mama!

Yep, she jinxed me!

While I've been feeling like *It* is getting closer and closer, I really don't think it's going to happen any time soon. As much as I swore that I wouldn't let my midwife's little prediction get to me, I'm actually kind of bummed. Why would she make such a bold statement? Doesn't she realize she's effing with a pregnant woman's emotions here?!?! Really, I'm much smarter than this!

Oh well, I continued to make plans for the week and will continue to go on with life as usual. My fingers are just crossed it happens before next week's full moon, which happens to be the day before my due date. Yeah, that would mean a very busy birth center and yeah, that would suck.

In case you're keeping track

THE List.
* pull out all newborn diapers I found some fitteds & covers, still need to get out all the prefolds.
* wash & dry them
* pull out & divide all hand-me-downs Most of them are out and divided, just one more bag to go through.
* wash them Washed what I found so far! I have one more basket to get in the wash!
* soak all stained stuff
* wash all new stuff
* clean out the kid's room This is a frightening task. I DID IT! I DID IT!!
* get rid of old toys
* pull out baby toys I actually already have them in baskets tucked away in the kid's room...somewhere.
* organize diaper/dresser area This is a HUGE one and scares me the most. DONE!!
* put away all of the clothes and diapers About half are put away. As soon as we're done with all this laundry, this will be DONE!
* pull out the swing
* clean it
* pull out changing pad & cover
* find the brest friend & clean it
* listen to hypnobabies every night I really really need to do this! Why am I fighting it so?
* start packing hospital bag What do I need even need to take ?
* find a "going home" outfit I ordered a super cute & comfy outfit, will cross this one off as soon as I get it!
* get car super duper deep cleaned I just found a place that I need to call to get a quote! Got a quote, now I just need a spare couple of hours to sit and wait while they do their thing.
* clean carseat
* install carseat
*find hospital night gown/robe/clothes I have a feeling this one will be scraped soon...a bit overkill possibly?
* get "recovery" supplies I found some overnight pads from Joaquin's birth, what else do I need?
* get a "gift from baby" for Joaquin I'm going to order a remote control fire truck that I've been eyeballing at Geppetto's, it's a bit cheaper on amazon.
* name the baby We actually have a couple of names on the table!
* wash all my old baby carriers
* make red gauze wrap I need to find some darn red gauze, Jo-ann's didn't have enough and now I don't have a current 40% off coupon. Have one I can take off your hands? If not, I might just end up ordering it online.
* make ring sling I can't find the perfect fabric for this, it has to be super duper cute and I'm incredibly indecisive.
* prepare meals for freezer Ordered a cookbook on amazon for frozen meal ideas...Dream Dinners style yo.
* go through shed and find any other baby odds and ends that need to be pulled out
* get some boxes to put away things pulled from room
* get a hat rack for all of Joaquin's hats

Yep! I'm pretty much done except for a few things here and there. There have been additions to a to-do list, but nothing worth reporting on here. The red gauze wrap, as you know will never get crossed off, but I do have the materials for the ring sling. I'll have to get on that one of these nights. Other than that...I just twiddle my thumbs!

Nice weekend at 38 weeks

Yesterday morning we finished up a few baby related items and after our luxurious family nap headed to my mom's. She was having some of my aunts and cousins over "just because", or so I thought. I walked in, to my cousins yelling "Surprise". I was confused, I knew they would be there, so seeing them wasn't too surprising, until they explained to me they were there for my shower! Ahhh, I see! Now that was quite the surprise!

We ended up getting a good amount of gift cards which will come very much in handy come time to buy new baby clothes. She is totally set for the rest of summer and through about 3 months, but then her stash quickly dwindles down, so these cards are very much appreciated!

Here is a picture Dan took of me in the back yard now at 38 weeks and 3 days. I'm thinking this might be my last belly shot. I'm just kind of done!



Today we went for a big breakfast at one of my favorite big breakfast joints, Lake Murray Cafe. It was then off to the in-laws and then back home for another luxurious nap (I'm trying to get as many in as possible, can you tell?).

This evening was spent at the zoo. It was perfect, not too hot and we stayed a bit later than usual. Joaquin is totally in love with what he called the "moving trees", and then he enjoyed a puppet show about dragons and pirates. We walked a bit and I got plenty of contractions, like i do everyday now, but nothing that is sticking.

I'm really trying to enjoy my days as much as possible...I just have no idea how many more I have until life completely changes all over again!

I think I may have just been jinxed!

I just got home from my 38 week midwife appointment. It went well, but my midwife said she thinks I'm going to go within the next five days. (holy crap) She also said she thinks it's going to go pretty fast. (reeeeeally?) We didn't do an internal or anything, this is just what she thinks from our conversations and all my many contractions...I had three walking from the parking lot to the office!

I can't say I would hate for it to happen sooner rather than later, but I would hate to start twiddling my thumbs for nothing to come out of it. And watch me have the longest labor ever! I'm just trying to stay realistic here people.

We also discussed the rather taboo, but very real subject of post-partum depression. Sorry if it makes you feel uncomfortable, but it's really a possibility for me. I've been feeling so anxious, irritable and out of my mind lately, that I'm a bit worried. I had some baby blues with Joaquin, but nothing that sent me to medication. I'm a little worried that this time around I won't get so lucky.

I'm not opposed to medication, especially if it will keep me and my babies safe and happy, but I'm not crazy about the idea either. So, for all of you that love me out there...keep an eye on me in those following weeks. Please, if you think I might need help, don't be afraid to tell me so; you may see signs that I may be sweeping under the rug.

So, now we just wait and see. This baby just might make an early arrival...or not...

What turns my frown...

upside down...

Playgroup swim class...



Puzzles at a coffee shop...







The kiddie pool & Lita's house...





Thanks for all the understanding and not calling me a crazy pregnant lady...even though I am :)

Hormones much?

I'm on the verge of a total meltdown at a seconds notice. I'm thinking it could possibly have something to do with hormones, but I could be wrong. I've pinned it down to three things that have and will completely drive me off a cliff lately (not in any specific order)...

#1...The stupid red gauze wrap of my imagination. I had this daydream of walking around the rest of this summer with my baby girl wrapped up in a bright red dreamy gauze wrap. Nothing too special or expensive, but a beautiful light and airy bright red wrap, with the sweet sweet baby all cuddled in.

It's summer, so I figured buying red gauze fabric wouldn't be too much of a hassle, I'd' find a 40% off coupon for Joanne's and I'd hem it if needed...cheap and easy, right? Oh no no no! Totally wrong. By the time I finally got my hands on a coupon, turns out they stopped selling red gauze, because that's a summer time fabric. And well, duh. It's freaking July, so of course summer stuff is already out and in with the fall crap. Duh! So I used my coupon of fabric for my sling. Fine.

Then I got the amazing idea to just buy white gauze and I could dye it the beautiful bright red of my dreams myself. No biggie! Yay! Well, as it turns out, by the time I got my hands on another freaking coupon, they're out of white gauze now. Yeah, and all three freaking locations I went to said they didn't know when they were going to get more.

Seriously. I almost cried in the middle of Joanne's this afternoon. Cried and screamed. I imagined throwing the bolt of one yard of white gauze at the head of the poor clerk as he looked on with sad puppy dog eyes. It took every single ounce of self control to not have a complete and total melt down. Seriously.

So. I've decided I'm done with this silly wrap day dream. I have a black *bleh* moby that I'm sure will be nice and warm this lovely summer. I'll just have to deal. I'm not going to spend a crapton of money to buy fabric online especially since the gauze will really only be the most comfy when baby is little. I'm over it. Kind of. At the moment.

#2...Dog Hair. OH MY FREAKING GAWD. Really? Must we live is such filth? Must I find a big black thick dog hair EVERYwhere? Really? It's seriously destroying my relationship with Bella. I have no love for her right now. The sight of her reminds me of all the bajillion hairs on her body that I will eventually have to sweep or vacuum up. There are two solutions I have for this, but both cost dinero and well, we don't have a lot of that lately.

A friend told me about her Roomba and how it saved her relationship with her dog. The problem? The thing is expensive! I'm considering setting up a piggy bank to save every nickel and dime I can get my hands on to towards this thing though. Pulling out the vacuum on a daily basis to have a semi-dog hair free home though is just not my idea of living.

Another thing we could, and honestly, should do at this point is take Bella in for once a month grooming. We're obviously not keeping up with it like we should and I just don't have the time nor the energy to brush and bath an 80 pound dog on a regular basis. But again, that's another monthly bill that I'm not sure we're up for at this point in time.

Last summer I almost lost my mind, but was OK with the daily vacuuming. When I had Joaquin, it was just past Bella's worse shedding season, so I dealt OK, but was on a constant hormonal verge. This time, combining my pre and post partum hormones along with the gnarly shedding season? I'm not sure how I'm going to cope, I really don't have any idea how I'm going to deal. Really.

#3...Being ignored. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant and most of my very close family members think anything coming out of my mouth is the equivalent to hormone induced white noise? Or maybe it's my imagination? Or maybe I'm spot on. But if one more person ignores me, I am seriously going to throw something. Again. Hard.

A fabulous mom friend taught me a lovely strategy for dealing with it with Joaquin. She did it with her son at playgroup yesterday and so far I've used it like 50 times with Joaquin and it works like a charm. Basically I ask Joaquin a question, like "Do you have to go potty?" And he'll just keep doing what he's doing, pretending that I don't exist. Then I say "If you hear mama, touch your nose." He giggles and touches his nose. Then I say "If you hear mama tell her if you have to go potty." Then he tells me that yeah, he does and we go on with our merry little world.

It works for him just great so far! But I really don't see it going over to well with the adults in my life. What to do? I have no idea. But I've noticed that throwing things have so far become quite the attention getter.


All of this due to hormones? I have no idea. But I do know that I'm trying very very very hard to stay as calm and centered as I can. It's not easy. It really isn't.

Will I have enough room?

I was laying next to Joaquin yesterday while he was napping. I was just staring at him, studying his little lips and nose and eyelashes. He looked so calm and innocent. I kissed his dirty forehead and sweet fingertips and all I could think was "I'm so sorry". He has no idea how upside down his happy world is soon going to become.

I love him so much, I just can't help but wonder how in the world I'm going to fit in enough love for two of them. Will my frustration and lack of patience for him grow and my love for him drop? Will she never get the same amount of love I feel for him? Will they constantly be at battle for my heart? I know it all seems so silly, but I'm just so afraid I won't be able to love them both enough.

I'm afraid that Joaquin's sweet sweet world will just explode all around him and I will be the cause of it. Will I resent the baby for it?

He seems so excited for her to join us. When I told him this morning that I was tired becuase the baby was going to come out soon, he got so excited. "The baby is coming out! Hurry up baby!" If he only knew.

I am excited, I do want to meet her. But I'm feeling so sad too. So sad that I'm going to lose this amazing thing I have with my son that I love so much it hurts.

I'm afraid that when he looks back on these photos, at how excited he was, he's going to mutter to himself..."if I only knew".





Or maybe he's onto something with his excitement. Maybe he, in his heart, knows something that I don't. Maybe he knows I have enough room...I hope I do.

Henna Belly Tattoo!!

Today at my Co-op group pick-up we got to Henna Tattoo my belly! Lorien, the co-op host was the artist and I have to say I'm very impressed by her work.

As of tomorrow I'm 37 weeks, which means full term!! I really don't think I'll be having this baby anytime soon though...I say at least two more weeks...minimum.











Please ignore my tired tired looking self. I woke up last night at 1:30 and didn't go back to sleep until almost 4am. It sucked.

Ladies

Yesterday was one of those days that made me all warm and fuzzy inside and reminded me of just how lucky I am to have so many awesome people in my life.

My dear friends Jacquie & Adrienne insisted on throwing a brunch in honor of Little Girl Brewer. I kind of felt weird about it at first because I didn't want people to feel obligated to get us gifts. So many people were already so incredibly generous when we had Joaquin. But Jacquie reminded me that this was a whole new baby and that a girl needed her very own girly things. I'm so glad she talked me into it. I felt so special to have such great women around me celebrating this new life. It was casual and sweet and perfect. While we did get so many adorable things for the little one, just the time and company with everybody celebrating my baby made it an incredibly special morning. Unfortunately I don't get to see many of these ladies nearly as often as I would like, so it made it even more special to know they wanted to be there to celebrate with us!

After that, I went home for a little break and then was off to the blessingway shower of a friend. This was a whole different group of women and the focus was a bit different. We each brought a bead to put on a necklace for her to wear while in labor and we talked a lot about natural birthing, nursing, cloth diapering and all that good stuff. Things that seem so different in other settings felt so normal there. Many of the ladies there I see fairly often at playgroups and it was such a powerful reminder of what an incredible support system of mothers I have around me.

By the end of the day I was exhausted, but overwhelmed by the love and support of all the women in my life...and this wasn't even all of them!

I just feel really lucky to have met and to be related to so many great ladies. It was a long time getting here...to this place of trusting women without falling into the same old catfighting traps that we learn early in our lives. I think it took birthing and raising a child for me to get here...and I'm so happy to have finally arrived!

Her first outfit!

We got the "going home" outfit in the mail today. It's perfect.

I wanted something natural and comfortable looking. Something that she wouldn't be hot in with the warm weather, but still comfortably covered up. Something I could get in preemie size so it would actually fit her, so I can put it away and always remember it as her first outfit and for it to represent just how tiny she was!

I didn't want a dress. I didn't want something pink. I didn't want something frilly.

This is what I found...





Isn't it adorable?

So, after my third day working on the list yesterday, this is where I stand. I'm actually OK with the fact that I'll be 36 weeks tomorrow now. I feel like I have a good few weeks to take my time with the rest and I have the hard stuff all done.

I feel like I can breathe!

THE List.
* pull out all newborn diapers I found some fitteds & covers, still need to get out all the prefolds.
* wash & dry them
* pull out & divide all hand-me-downs Most of them are out and divided, just one more bag to go through.
* wash them Washed what I found so far! I have one more basket to get in the wash!
* soak all stained stuff
* wash all new stuff
* clean out the kid's room This is a frightening task. I DID IT! I DID IT!!
* get rid of old toys
* pull out baby toys I actually already have them in baskets tucked away in the kid's room...somewhere.
* organize diaper/dresser area This is a HUGE one and scares me the most. DONE!!
* put away all of the clothes and diapers About half are put away. As soon as we're done with all this laundry, this will be DONE!
* pull out the swing
* clean it
* pull out changing pad & cover
* find the brest friend & clean it
* listen to hypnobabies every night I really really need to do this! Why am I fighting it so?
* start packing hospital bag What do I need even need to take ?
* find a "going home" outfit I ordered a super cute & comfy outfit, will cross this one off as soon as I get it!
* get car super duper deep cleaned I just found a place that I need to call to get a quote! Got a quote, now I just need a spare couple of hours to sit and wait while they do their thing.
* clean carseat
* install carseat
* find hospital night gown/robe/clothes I have a feeling this one will be scraped soon...a bit overkill possibly?
* get "recovery" supplies I found some overnight pads from Joaquin's birth, what else do I need?
* get a "gift from baby" for Joaquin I'm going to order a remote control fire truck that I've been eyeballing at Geppetto's, it's a bit cheaper on amazon.
* name the baby We actually have a couple of names on the table!
* wash all my old baby carriers
* make red gauze wrap I need to find some darn red gauze, Jo-ann's didn't have enough and now I don't have a current 40% off coupon. Have one I can take off your hands? If not, I might just end up ordering it online.
* make ring sling I can't find the perfect fabric for this, it has to be super duper cute and I'm incredibly indecisive.
* prepare meals for freezer Ordered a cookbook on amazon for frozen meal ideas...Dream Dinners style yo.
* go through shed and find any other baby odds and ends that need to be pulled out
* get some boxes to put away things pulled from room
* get a hat rack for all of Joaquin's hats

Commence day three of list busting...

and then tomorrow we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming.

My mom is stealing Joaquin again today. The parents are loving this.

Here is part of what I did the past two days...

This...

Turned to this...


Today will be filled with a few errands and maybe even a nap!! Crazy talk, I know.

Thanks for all the supportive words, it really has helped get through this period of nesting insanity. Hopefully I won't lose my mind again any time soon!

Look what I did!!!

OK, yesterday was rough. I was super overwhelmed and my body was aching and tired from carrying Joaquin way farther than I should have after 4th of July fireworks. But I managed to get through a lot more than I thought!

Today, Dan took Joaquin to his parents and my mom is going to take him again tomorrow. I am finally getting stuff done and actually crossed off!

Any new updates are in purple today and of course things are added to THE List. But at least I'm feeling better about getting some stuff done.

THE List.
* pull out all newborn diapers I found some fitteds & covers, still need to get out all the prefolds.
* wash & dry them
* pull out & divide all hand-me-downs Most of them are out and divided, just one more bag to go through.
* wash them Washed what I found so far! I have one more basket to get in the wash!
* soak all stained stuff
* wash all new stuff
* clean out the kid's room This is a frightening task. I DID IT! I DID IT!!
* get rid of old toys
* pull out baby toys I actually already have them in baskets tucked away in the kid's room...somewhere.
* organize diaper/dresser area This is a HUGE one and scares me the most. DONE!!
* put away all of the clothes and diapers About half are put away. As soon as we're done with all this laundry, this will be DONE!
* pull out the swing
* clean it
* pull out changing pad & cover
* find the brest friend & clean it
* listen to hypnobabies every night I really really need to do this! Why am I fighting it so?
* start packing hospital bag What do I need even need to take ?
* find a "going home" outfit I ordered a super cute & comfy outfit, will cross this one off as soon as I get it!
* get car super duper deep cleaned I just found a place that I need to call to get a quote! Got a quote, now I just need a spare couple of hours to sit and wait while they do their thing.
* clean carseat
* install carseat
* find hospital night gown/robe/clothes I have a feeling this one will be scraped soon...a bit overkill possibly?
* get "recovery" supplies I found some overnight pads from Joaquin's birth, what else do I need?
* get a "gift from baby" for Joaquin I'm going to order a remote control fire truck that I've been eyeballing at Geppetto's, it's a bit cheaper on amazon.
* name the baby We actually have a couple of names on the table!
* wash all my old baby carriers
* make red gauze wrap I need to find some darn red gauze, Jo-ann's didn't have enough and now I don't have a current 40% off coupon. Have one I can take off your hands? If not, I might just end up ordering it online.
* make ring sling I can't find the perfect fabric for this, it has to be super duper cute and I'm incredibly indecisive.
* prepare meals for freezer Ordered a cookbook on amazon for frozen meal ideas...Dream Dinners style yo.
* go through shed and find any other baby odds and ends that need to be pulled out
* get some boxes to put away things pulled from room
* get a hat rack for all of Joaquin's hats

The Room.

My mom took Joaquin for the day and I'm attempting the two biggest tasks on THE List. Cleaning out the kid's room and organizing the dresser area.

I am so overwhelmed. I want to cry. There is just too much stuff in here. I don't know where it all came from. I am seriously just starting to throw things out.

I've cleaned out this room and re-organized it a number of times. I think I've even posted about it on here before. But this time I just let it go too long and it's straight up ridiculous.

The good news is I think I'm almost over that initial hump of horridness and can soon start putting things back together. I hope.

Thank you to all who offered your help on THE List both on here and on facebook. I just wish there was someone that lived in this house that would offer some help... *sigh*

THE List Revised #1

I can't sleep.

THE List keeps running through my mind. Honestly, I have not been able to cross out even one thing, which I think is pretty pathetic. I have at least, made some progress on a few things and have done some online searching to get on my way to cross out a few more...I hope.

Unfortunately though, I've also added a few more items which makes me think this may be a never ending kind of thing.

Here is the revised list with some notes of progress made in red for your reading pleasure and my personal insanity.

THE List.
* pull out all newborn diapers I found some fitteds & covers, still need to get out all the prefolds.
* wash & dry them
* pull out & divide all hand-me-downs Most of them are out and divided, just one more bag to go through.
* wash them Washed what I found so far!
* soak all stained stuff
* wash all new stuff
* clean out the kid's room This is a frightening task.
* get rid of old toys
* pull out baby toys I actually already have them in baskets tucked away in the kid's room...somewhere.
* organize diaper/dresser area This is a HUGE one and scares me the most.
* put away all of the clothes and diapers About half are put away.
* pull out the swing
* clean it
* pull out changing pad & cover
* find the brest friend & clean it
* listen to hypnobabies every night I really really need to do this! Why am I fighting it so?
* start packing hospital bag What do I need even need to take ?
* find a "going home" outfit I ordered a super cute & comfy outfit, will cross this one off as soon as I get it!
* get car super duper deep cleaned I just found a place that I need to call to get a quote!
* clean carseat
* install carseat
* find hospital night gown/robe/clothes I have a feeling this one will be scraped soon...a bit overkill possibly?
* get "recovery" supplies I found some overnight pads from Joaquin's birth, what else do I need?
* get a "gift from baby" for Joaquin I'm going to order a remote control fire truck that I've been eyeballing at Geppetto's, it's a bit cheaper on amazon.
* name the baby We actually have a couple of names on the table!
* wash all my old baby carriers
* make red gauze wrap I need to find some darn red gauze, Jo-ann's didn't have enough and now I don't have a current 40% off coupon. Have one I can take off your hands? If not, I might just end up ordering it online.
* make ring sling I can't find the perfect fabric for this, it has to be super duper cute and I'm incredibly indecisive.
* prepare meals for freezer Ordered a cookbook on amazon for frozen meal ideas...Dream Dinners style yo.

I'm sure there were will be many more revisions in the coming weeks. Hopefully you'll get just as much pleasure out of me crossing things off as I will...eventually!

Just a little list.

I attempted to nap with Joaquin today and ended up laying there going over thing after thing that I need to get done, but have no energy to actually do. I asked myself, "if I got up right now, what would I actually do?" My answer to myself was, "all I want to do is sleep". But obviously that was not happening.

I think I'm officially hitting **freak out mode**. I'll be 35 weeks tomorrow. That means full term in 2 weeks and the official due date in 5. This baby can be here very very soon and I have diddly squat ready for her. It just all feels so overwhelming, I don't even know where to start!

My plan is to make a list, I need a list to figure out what needs to be done and hopefully from there I can start taking care of things. I know this is not the most exciting post in the world...but please, this is the only way this baby will get a diaper on her bum!

THE List.
* pull out all newborn diapers
* wash & dry them
* pull out & divide all hand-me-downs
* wash them
* soak all stained stuff
* wash all new stuff
* clean out the kid's room
* get rid of old toys
* pull out baby toys
* organize diaper/dresser area
* put away all of the clothes and diapers
* pull out the swing
* clean it
* pull out changing pad & cover
* find the brest friend & clean it
* listen to hypnobabies every night
* start packing hospital bag
* find a "going home" outfit
* get car super duper deep cleaned
* clean carseat
* install carseat
* find hospital night gown/robe/clothes
* get "recovery" supplies
* get a "gift from baby" for Joaquin
* name the baby

OK, there is so much more, but I'm kind of freaking myself out by this list and am getting contractions. I think I need to go lay down again. Holy crap.